New York? Meh…

Well I made it back. HA! You may say, anyone can go to New York and make it back… But believe me when I say I almost didn’t. My northern bound adventure starts at the Orlando Airport, as my flight is delayed an hour. I decided to get a sandwich from the stand, result- bad idea. About half way though the sandwich I start to read the label to see how many preservatives are in packed in. Then I notice the bottom… the sandwich expires today. After losing my appetite I finally board the “plane”. As I walk in I glance into the cockpit. The look of the cockpit reminded my of something I saw in a WWII bomber movie. It was like they flew the entire plane by just turning knobs. As I find my seat I’m thinking “eh, computers suck anyway”. Once we take off the captain comes on, only to let us know that its rookie night at Spirit and the pilot intern will be taking us in. Two hours later the plane is shaking and flapping its wings to stay in the air. The Captain comes on and tells us what great and easy flight we had in this “perfect weather”. I’m thinking “Cripes! If that was a smooth night, I’m hosed on the way home”. I landed in New York and met up with the ‘ol Dan-Dan.

To keep this brief I will throw out a few observations I made whilst in New York (a.k.a Big Dirty Land)

• When I was in the subway I said: “Oh look at the lizards! …. Wait... that’s not…EWW MICE!!!

• I saw bright green puddles of water standing in the street. The only other time I have seen that is in New Orleans after Mardi Gras. Enough said.

• The parks are very nice, and well maintained. There’re also packed with enough serial killers to take over a small country.

• I guess if my job was to stand on the street corner and hand out pamphlets, I would harass people too. But that doesn’t make it right.

• Don’t touch the city and then put your hands in your mouth, it will make you sick.

• If you do it anyway and you get sick, don’t fly home. You will feel like your head will explode. When you try to equalize the pressure everyone will look at you like a retard, because you’re twitching in your seat like you’re having a seizure.

Anyway, I think I’m going back in March.