Getting Back to My Roots...

At first I felt like posting about my weekend or maybe about my car, but I realized that my blog is getting soft. I don’t want this to become my online diary… “Dear Diary: Sometimes I think you’re the only one that understands me…*sniff* *sniff*” So today we are going to kick it old school by having an in scientific in depth look at an absolutely meaningless topic: Squirrels.

Scientifically speaking, squirrels are barbarous little savages with a vicious disposition. If you were to combine a Rat, a Monkey, and a Wolf together… you would arrive at our modern day squirrel. This is why squirrels are such excellent hunters, the kings of their domain, and why they have no natural predators (except man). Squirrels are pack hunters, and the key to their efficiency is communication. Traveling in single file to hide their numbers, the female squirrels use their large bushy tails to signal other squirrels that are joined in the hunt. Once a meal is captured, some of it is brought to the alpha male squirrel that typically lives in the largest tree in the forest/park.

I have witnessed these things first hand, back in high school. A popular food item from the cafeteria was chicken wings. After kids would eat the wings, they would throw the bones into the grass (since we ate on picnic tables outside). Now while one squirrel would distract us by showing his teeth or running around us, the other squirrels would gather up the bones and make off with them. Then would then start chewing on these bones like they were going out of style, they would eat through them like they were filled with cotton candy flavored marrow. We always feared that the carnivorous squirrels would one day turn on us, so we traveled in groups.

And now, for a somewhat unrelated video of the introduction to one of my favorite cartoons: Secret Squirrel