Yesterday, I realized that I am a huge girl :(
I drove up to the gas station on fumes and starting filling up my little roller coaster. I look down and see this ginormous beetle (Prionus californicus) sitting in front of the gas pump.
I still have about 7 gallons to fill so I decide that I’ll entertain myself at this small bug’s expense. I step near the bug to try and startle him, but he doesn’t move. I make loud noises and stomp around but he doesn’t budge a bit. Then real gently I nudge him with the toe of my shoe, and he sparks to life flipping himself over. “HA HA… you fell over… wait…are those wings? OH! SNAP!” All of a sudden I’m thinking: “OK, this cat has mandible pinchers…and now he has wings… I’m not sure, but this is turning out to be a really bad idea.” Yep, sure enough, it was a bad idea. I hear a tiny voice say: “Beetle Wings…Activate!!!” and this beetle flips himself over and sparks up the wings. Now this is a beetle that can’t really fly in a straight line. He just kinda flaps his wings and whatever he lands on he bites. So now he’s flying around using short jumps to random locations all around me. By now… I am starting to FREAK out. Still holding the gas handle pumping gas, I start jumping up and down back and forth, trying to escape his mandible pinching wrath. And it is not like I can just step on him and end this; if I did… the explosion of bug would go all over me and my car. Then he starts bouncing off my car, and I just know he’s trying to fly in through the window or sunroof. I mean, that’s all I need, to be driving down the road and for him to land in my giant poofy hair. Talk about a car wreck waiting to happen, and if that didn’t kill me I would have stopped the car a thrown myself into traffic to get this bug from nestling into my hair. (Shudder) Finally he buzzes a few feet off and I look around to see if anyone has heard my small yelps, or muffled profanity. Fortunately no one was around since it was late at night. Lesson learned: Never mess with beetles, cause you never know when they will bust out wings and try to eat you.
I still have about 7 gallons to fill so I decide that I’ll entertain myself at this small bug’s expense. I step near the bug to try and startle him, but he doesn’t move. I make loud noises and stomp around but he doesn’t budge a bit. Then real gently I nudge him with the toe of my shoe, and he sparks to life flipping himself over. “HA HA… you fell over… wait…are those wings? OH! SNAP!” All of a sudden I’m thinking: “OK, this cat has mandible pinchers…and now he has wings… I’m not sure, but this is turning out to be a really bad idea.” Yep, sure enough, it was a bad idea. I hear a tiny voice say: “Beetle Wings…Activate!!!” and this beetle flips himself over and sparks up the wings. Now this is a beetle that can’t really fly in a straight line. He just kinda flaps his wings and whatever he lands on he bites. So now he’s flying around using short jumps to random locations all around me. By now… I am starting to FREAK out. Still holding the gas handle pumping gas, I start jumping up and down back and forth, trying to escape his mandible pinching wrath. And it is not like I can just step on him and end this; if I did… the explosion of bug would go all over me and my car. Then he starts bouncing off my car, and I just know he’s trying to fly in through the window or sunroof. I mean, that’s all I need, to be driving down the road and for him to land in my giant poofy hair. Talk about a car wreck waiting to happen, and if that didn’t kill me I would have stopped the car a thrown myself into traffic to get this bug from nestling into my hair. (Shudder) Finally he buzzes a few feet off and I look around to see if anyone has heard my small yelps, or muffled profanity. Fortunately no one was around since it was late at night. Lesson learned: Never mess with beetles, cause you never know when they will bust out wings and try to eat you.
posted by Levi at 11:26 AM
8 Comments:
well its sad it took you that long to figure it out. you could have asked me and i would have told you that a long time ago. but i guess better late than never. and like dr.phil always says, the first step to recovery is admitting the problem. although, i would have paid some good money to see you jump around like that, and that girly screech. its one iv heard oh so many times yet it never gets old.
levi you are SOOOO silly!!!! :)
LOL be it LEVI to make himself look like an idiot at a gas station, of all places, hahah, an Jennas' right, I would have paid to see that also..lol.NICE!
I take it your "Oh Snap" was high pitched... Hmm.... Are you SURE that no one saw you??? I guess that's what you get for messing with Creation. Oh yeah, props on using the name-slash-type of animal method to naming an animal. You can never go wrong with that.
yeah, you are a girl
wait...I'm a girl! hey! oh wait...y-chromosome. ok, it's cool
ok thats sad!!! A BUG! Hello!!! Giant claws what ever! Guess you need to carry around some bug spray in that purse you carry....
It's not a purse, it's EUROPEAN!!!....Hmm... Kinda like his car eh?? So, your car is a girls purse??
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